Friday, August 28, 2009

Hey, what happened to the toilet paper?

It looks...awful...what the (multiple expletives deleted) happened?

Oh, right. I just farted.

Felt good.

*sigh* I'm supposed to NOT be a night owl. But this is what happens when you feel like indulging yourself on coffee shakes in the evening...The blowy part is that I didn't even have a surge of energy to actually do a whole lot of work, I just am all jittery and can't get to sleep. Bummer.

Wow. None of that is important or matters at all. God, I just wasted 30 seconds of someones life. Humbling.

Interesting, I feel like being silent lately, yet still want to be connected..but not talk to anyone. Hmm. Interacting with people makes me feel weird sometimes, other times its just fun.

Started training at a new Dojang. Amazing. A lot of growth will be there, sacred warriorship. I have a skin rash that's spreading. Neem oil! Good for everything. I had an awesome journey/vision at the end of the last kundalini class that I went to (just started going again, woohoo!). I was inside this dark tower, with blood stained walls, grey, black, and red were all I saw. I knew it was for slaughtering and harvesting of dragons for greed and dark arts. As soon as I recognized that a red dragon appeared in shackles, wounded from being captured, weak but still fiery. I invoked the holy sword and a bolt of rainbow fire came down, blowing the shackles off the dragon, and destroying the tower. Then another bolt of rainbow fire sent us soaring into the air and healing the dragon, we rode through the air, across the sea, more gliding than anything, an occasional flap of the gargantuan wings, until his land was in sight once again. There is much healing of the 'mythical' beasts to be done. This is one of my purposes. That and dreaming about dinosaurs. Leviathan, I kneel before you.

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Dreams

So...I love awesome dreams. Sometimes, when I feel sad, and not like a nerd, I have a dream, or remember having a dream, that reminds me, that the truth that runs in my blood is as thick as wildflower honey from the local bees...that I am, and always will be, a total nerd. I mean, who else would have dreams about having to change the Tyrannosaur's pasture? Yes, even the tyrannosaurs deserve new land to graze, or cattle, I guess in this instance, once in awhile. Fencing costs would be out the window though...Though I have to wonder how the 'ol Rex ended up in the same pasture, I guess the 'airlock' pasture/gate method got switched up...damn that lackey! After he roared at me as I was running behind the wood pile I woke up, and then in that half awake still dreaming state I had a beowolfian battle and betook the Tyrannosaur of his life with my bare hands and a combat knife, or a sharp piece of wood, i don't remember. Nice, I love listening to dramatic operatic metal while writing blogs.

Though the most recent dream I had was yet another amalgamation of inputs...There was this pod that transported between realities/worlds/universes or something, and I was a part of an awesome group of jedi type yogi peeps that went around these realities and spread total awesomeness all around, though we were attacked in one zone and I had to fix it, but I couldn't quite fix it fast enough, we kept on getting attacked everywhere we went. Mmmm...interesting, I could interpret that...if I wanted to. (Side tangent, I was given a Cypress Valley Canopy Tour bandana earlier, so now I have an official CVCT headband, I feel totally badass now) The funny part is that the pod that we traveled in reminded me of a camping lantern that I have, except, giant. The controls on it to shift realities were oddly like the ones on the tractor too...Fun times. After that it shifted to me working some dead end night shift job down in mexico, where i drove a little old VW bug around...Curious. What I find fascinating about dreams is the amount of interconnectedness of all the images, which I couldn't ever describe without explaining how all my neural pathways worked, which would require that I know a damn thing about it. Dude, Pandora has shown me about Within Temptation, an awesome- you guessed it- Operatic Metal band with an awesome female vocalist. Dude, with this headband I look like some sort of blonde root vegetable. Its awesome. Already time to start planting the fall crops! Can't believe its already here!

It is quite curious, things are getting done, faster than ever before even, but I still feel somehow frustrated and behind the 8-ball on things. Like in Star Trek: Nemesis, what separates Picard from his evil clone is that he strives to be more than he is. That is our greatest gift, to strive to make our lives more than what they are. To do that though, sometimes we have to clear old debris though, I have been experiencing an incredible amount of rage lately. Like screaming into my pillow until I'm hoarse and breaking hammers by hitting them on rocks. Something neat though, is that if you use the blade end of a maul against rocks they'll spark, and then break. Totally awesome.

Our totally awesome friend Tihliegh gave me an iPod shuffle as early birthday present, which has been amazing. Been listening to some CD's that my pagan brothers out in New Mexico sent me, which are really amazing. I was surprised though, the little shuffle is a resilient little dude, I left him in the car with the sun roof open and then, of all nights it actually rained, which has been rare around here lately. Awesomely enough though the little dude- Ivan, I shall call him, in memory of an awesome cat belonging to Max (that name should always be said in a commanding, robust voice)-made it. This is why I have not sought out having nice things in the way of electronics in my life. But am very greatful that they are there. Woohoo!

Well I suppose I could ramble on for awhile, but I'll the worn reader the trouble. Last note: I finished screening in my porch today, which I've been wanting to do....oh, since I move out here. So that was a victory. For sure. Funny thing is, once I started, I was done before the end of the afternoon. There are still many steps to be completed, like adding a screen door. Right now the patio is like an added side room onto the house with screens for walls. Which is kinda neat, I imagine that I am on a balcony of my flying castle...

Monday, July 20, 2009

Goats....The Devils Symbol

Wow, so I haven't written in awhile. I am living and working on an awesome park/ranch/farm called Cypress Valley. We are dependent on rain here, as we are not on a well, and we have now hit an historic drought. Bummer. The sky is cloudy, and imminent rain is possible, that would be a great blessing from the gods. I poured a half bottle of wine out the other day in honor of Tyr. After recognizing the abundance I have and letting go of the greediness of keeping it all, I think I may have become a first level paladin now. :) Dude, pandora rules, listening to all sorts of dramatic euro metal. Yay! Life is good.

So, at one point when I came out here to the ranch, I was thinking that I may be interested in keeping goats...It turns out one of the people in our community has a flock of goats that we have been pasturing for a couple of months for weed control. I am very grateful for the experience, because now I know, I will never, ever, keep goats. The very sight of a goat now instills terror and dread. I swear they do things just to piss you off. Little chumps. It makes so much sense as to why they have been associated with Satan. :) Awesome! Mordreds Song! Thank you Pandora.

Well, I'll be getting a camera soon I hope so I can start taking pictures of neato things and posting them to show off to you guys. Like the Baby Buffali, totally cute. Hmm...wow, I feel a little boring right now, but I don't want to stop listening to metal. How about that...I'll go work on the water system here in a bit, and cut some more grass for the buffalo. Maybe do a rain dance, lets keep trying to swing things in my favor here...And those scuzzy Wyrmwood bastards out in the desert of New Mexico are totally hogging up all my rain!!! Grrrrr....Ooh, speaking of which, totally going to start brewing my own beer here pretty soon, its in the blood, I can feel it. Oh shizznazz, I just realized a new secret recipe that I simply cannot wait to try, made with my own herbs and honey! One of the many perks of living and managing a farm. Ok. I'll be back soon. Hell of a lot sooner than last time.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Friends New Zealand is Totally Brutal

Dudes and dudinettes, seriously, check this out:

http://zealandinthenewd.blogspot.com/2009/02/when-searching-for-golden-fleece-beware.html

Sigh...I want the whole world to be like that...is that too much to want? I don´t care if it is, it is worth it!

So...this morning started out rather bleak, in a stream of consciousness about the big city that I didn´t break until halfway to Saltillo on the bus...this is a nicer city, much smaller and has a more open feel to it. There are actually shops and such here that I could buy some boots, another hat, or a mexican blanket or poncho...nothing really struck me as something I just had to have...more blankets are always neato...so I guess I could get one...but I have no drawing to spend money on such a thing. Ah well. Hmmm...in a library in Saltillo right now, wonder how long I can get away with using this computer. A pigeon shat on my notebook earlier while sitting in the park this library is in. I am just grateful that he didn´t poop on my grapefruit that I was eating. Frikkin pigeons, they are pretty awesome..and earlier this morning it was one of the few things that seemed peaceful to concentrate on was pigeons strutting around.

So last night I wandered around with Richard in the club district in Monterray, he became tired and went home and continued wandering aimlessly...I kept feeling this pull towards an area that I had already covered...and I was resistant at first. There was a neat cafe that was about to open at 7pm, and it was about 6:45, so I continued wandering down the street feeling that I was missing something but not knowing what. I ran across a telefono publica and then immediately ran into a fire hydrant, ow knee. Still hurts a little bit...I took a break thinking what I was doing, I´m in a big city in a foreign country and feeling bored, what the heck? I was right by the phone and had a few minutes on the calling card...debated a long time if I should just use it up and say hi to someone, went through a long list of who I would call, and even if I should call anybody. Finally went to pick up the phone and dial a number...and it didn´t work. Aha! Should´ve just went for it and not used all that brain energy debating, the universe had a plan for me that evening that I was just minutes away from discovering. I started pseudo-limping down the street further and spotted the black fronted building with red trim...one of my favourite color schemes...and heard it...the sweet sound of metal guitar riffs, filling the air with majesty and glee. Hardwired, my gut knew, it had its radar primed, I wandered, trusting it, and was not disappointed. I sat, listened, not a bad guitar player, they must have been doing a sound check I thought for later on tonight since it is still early...I leaned against the building for a moment. The scale was major, which I have been increasingly drawn to lately, having spent many years preferring the darker sound of the minor scale. Filled with excitement for the night, I started back up the street to go see if I could grab some 'expresso' as it is called here. The cafe was open and had a rather nice vibe, kinda of jazz-techno-air style of music...sounds weird I know but it actually wasn´t. So I brainstormed for a bit about how a whole bunch of my homies should plan a trip to Europe next summer and how I could do that financially. Turns out that I only have to make 500 dollares a week for the next 16 months to....pay off all my debt...have 5k for a trip to Europe, have living money until then, and have a 3k cushion to come back to...that doesn´t include getting a private pilots license though I realized today...which is ok because I doubt I would really spend $5k in europe...though I´m sure I could if I allowed myself to...whee?

So after espresso and water, I headed back to the hotel room to drop off my jacket and extra money since...it would be warm in the club and I'd be out on the streets late at night. When I finally made it back to the club, in my cowboy attire, fitting in with the all in black metalheads like a charm, I discovered they were only practicing, and were really playing the next night...or tonight...Yes! I´m still just as ready. Though I don´t know that I´ll type up the stream of consciousness that I went through earlier today right now, but I will and I definitely feel that metal has helped me break through the suffocation and suppression of current global industrial material culture. Thank you, gods of metal. I´ll always know in my heart without that energy, I would not be so balanced in a world where suffering, ignorance, and obedient followership is so prevalent. I am my own person, full of spirit, and that is enough to create a better world through hard work and diligence.

Apparently, mexican poliza cruise around with their lights for shits and giggles...goin nowhere, not pulling anyone over, just cruisin, with their lights on...very peculiar.

hmmm...until nnext post! I´m going to wander and gawk at pretty buildings in Saltillo and make my way back to the bus station...maybe get some food somewhere along the way...I said I wanted to stay away from fried foods, but some tacos seem kinda tasty right now. yum. We´ll see what I turn up ya? Sweet. I think I will get a blanket, I haven´t always been super cozy and toasty while in the city, ironically enough, don´t lug my extreme cold sleeping bag everywhere I go...

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Ola!

Ok, back at la computador! So...we went to the Mercado today, got some nice lookin papaya, mangoes, limes, guava, banana, and...grapefruit...and...honey...and....mmm, what else? I think thats it. Also had the most painless eye exam ever this afternoon, it couldn´t have taken more than 5 minutes it felt like. It´s ridiculous that american doctors are so stuffy about everything, I always felt so frustrated with the process, and then you get charged 60 bucks for the visit, and another 150 or 200 for your glasses...I got everything for....lets see, 700 pesos, or $50. Sweetness! They will be ready tomorrow, but Richard will have to pick them up I guess because I want to be heading over to Horsetail Falls Park methinks, still have to figure what the bus situation is going over there though...Looks pretty amazing though! I ´scited.



So, I definitely don´t like big cities, whether their foreign or not. Madrid and Barcelona were cool because of the old architecture, but Monterray is a bit newer so it just doesn´t have the same flavor. I like the strong cultural identity though, and the abundant mass transit. Very cool. Though the mass transit is necessary though because it is quite evident that people are very poor. I feel opulent next to the average mexican considering I own: A car, A bicycle, 2 computers AND a laptop, MULTIPLE guitars, a ton (well, maybe only a couple hundred pounds) of books, etc. Yep, I´m spoiled, glad I´m trying to do something other than just please myself! When we came in on the bus we were in the scary part o town...well, not scary, just...poor, trashy, got come ons from hookers, etc. Faucet didn´t work in the hotel we stayed at that night..awesome.



After we got into the more downtown area though it is a bit nicer, parques here and there, la gran plaza where the old turn of the 20th century palace is was neato, interesting though that you can walk into a chain restaurant and be greated by some kid (18 or 19) carrying an assault rifle with a bullet proof vest...Ah yes, different countries, such a wonderful experience! This morning we got up to go have breakfast and we saw on the television ´riot in monterray during police drug bust´or something along those lines, glad I decided not to walk around last night to get the flavor of the night life! Though in the downtown area it probably would have been fine, just not nearly as cool as Barcelona at 3am. Considering that this is the only other time I´ve been out of the country and I went to Spain the first time I guess I am coming at it a little critically, but I am enjoying it no less...though I have been trying to get the most out of my visit and it seems what I´ve done the most is sleep and write, but that is also essential to catch up on my life etc. Looking forward to the not city tomorrow.



The first day here I was looking for the hampton inn (where we stayed one night because it was close to the hospital) later on in the day, after Richard had gone into surgery, and got a little confused because of the naming of the streets...that was a fun adventure, walked around a whole bunch...carrying a few small bags in my arms close to my chest because none of the sacks were strong enough to house them all...knew I should have left with a bag! Anyway, I laugh about it though because of leaving the hotel that we checked into without really knowing where it was before leaving it...dóh! There were a couple moments where I about to say ´ah f.....´ but both those times random guys on the street helped me out. There was also an HEB right by the inn so I just asked where HEB was and got some directions, the first guy wanted some cambio, and so i told him ´Well, maybe you can help ME out too!´which me obliged in some english, coolio. Thanks tigers eye bracelet! You rock!



So, Likin it good. Feel like there are some stories that I´m forgetting, you know, lots of trying to fudge my way with the language and just feeling very humored by how ignorant i am of the language, but hey, at least I´m trying! And it is fun when they say, ´poco´ when i tell them ´habla pequeno espanol´. Good times. Oh, and a guy was just lightin up a doobie in the street at the mercado this morning, that was pretty hilarious. We were trying some mangoes and buying the papaya, couldn´t have been later than 11, when I smell a familiar smell wafting through the clogged streets of cars, carts, and people...turning around and continuing on our way the source of the scent was in broad daylight in the middle of the street. Ah, again, I´d like to say, different country, how sweet it is.



Ah, the Metal scene totally exists down here, saw the decked out young dude with all black clothing, wallet chain, oh I can´t remember the band shirt he had on...could here a little bit of the thrashing from his headphones, lip piercing, the trying to be serious and dark expression on his face...very hilarious, I was telling richard that I like all these different styles of music, etc. but don´t necessarily vibe with the subculture at all. I don´t think I´ve ever met another metalhead outside my family who has the same relationship with it that I do, and even then, we all interpret and experience it in our own unique way and have different (to some degree) favorite bands.



Hmmm...other than just laughing at myself for not getting it, there doesn´t seem to be a whole lot to tell...Tried getting a subway pass, kept putting in the change, hitting the button, and nothing happened...then a chica came up to the machine next to me, put in change, hit a button, and got her pass...I just laughed...when I tried it all over again, with confidence this time...it went smoothly...as if the ghost in the machine was...playing with me (eerie voice).



Well, gonna send off a couple more emails before I go so I´ll be done for the day and be back for more mind blowingly average stories for tomorrow! Yeeeeeha! (An old mexican lady at the Laredo bus stop just loved my cowboy hat, it was just precious :)

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Mexico!

You heard it! Mexico! Monterray to be exact...and yet, I am in an internet place posting a blog...well, that´s what vacations are for! Catching up! So...why you may ask, am in Mexico?

I got an all expenses paid trip from this Sunday to this Friday to accompany a man who I am starting a farm with, Richard, for surgery in Monterray, because it is less than one third of the price down here than up there, and from where we live in the hill country it is less than an 8 hour drive...I couldn´t even make it through west texas in that time!

Wow, uno hora can go by quick, cursed facebook and reading other peoples blogs! My friends Celeste and Keith are in Nuevo Zealando (haha!) and are woolfing, sick stories of idyllic lives! Wunderbar!

So, its really smoggy down here, we are at the base of the Sierra Madre Oriental mountains and in the middle of the day I can barely see them! Unfortunate. The British American Tobacco company has a huge plant down here I walked by the other day, I was on the sidewalk walking right by the wall that shielded me from the power plant...the sound that it created! It is a wonder, that for one, we have created such devices, and then also a wonder that we even use such diabolical creations...everything around me vibrated and filled my ears and body such that I was a leaf in the ocean of white noise.

I´m only supposed to be on this computer for one hour at a time...dóh! our hotel is just down the street so I´ll be back and actually tell more stories about our adventures thus far! I´ll go into detail, don´t worry! :) Plus sharing all that I am thinking of and processing at the moment. One of the best things about this experience is that it is giving my brain a much needed time to go through a lot of different things and help me iterate to the next part of my creation. Many wonderful developments! Much string cuttings, molting, as it were. So...with that, I´ll bid adieu for a day.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Another 1500 miles or more on my car

Wow, two weeks...It seems like a lifetime ago since I last checked in.

So, we visited all the places mentioned in the previous blog, and then some to boot. I was in an HEB in Austin stocking up on of the more difficult items to localize of toilet papyrus, when I had an urge to buy some tasty looking grapes...I even picked them up, but something was riveted in me, deep...dark. Even sinister. That guided my hand to bring the grapes back to their resting spot on the fruit stand. No longer can I buy any old food any more, I am around enough local food economies that I cannot spend money that will immediately go out of state. But wait! I'm not so much of a purist that I'll turn down someone cooking me a meal in Wimberly that she learned how to make from her Thai roommates back in college...no. That would be just silly. Or turn my nose to foods at glorious Sacred Acre potlucks...this is just solely related to the dollars that come out of my wallet and into the hands of someone for the sake of food. The only thing different is that now that someone needs to be local, or if it's not farm direct, a local business. Exceptions can still be made...

I am getting used to drinking dairy again though, but raw cow's milk is well worth it. Something I noticed this evening is that when other people (raw foodies even) are experiencing allergic reactions to things in the air, the extra mucilaginous substances within my nasal cavities serve a vital role in being a blanket of protection for my otherwise weak and pathetic lungs. Can you tell I'm a little brain fried and sleep deprived? Ooh, rhyming and everything, I should be a rapper or something. I'd totally get on the list of shortest lived careers.

Well, the 'Transition Texas Initiative' by the team is slowly but surely gaining momentum. Up until this point I haven't spoken of our work in those terms, but it has been a process for me to understand the complexity and scope of this prject. It is no less than a project of truly Texan proportions. There is a considerable amount of local living already happening in the Austin area, so there we have to take a stance of...how can we best interface with the current movements to inspire the next level of change? That could be as simple as providing frequented businesses in the area all their veggies from a local farm. And seriously, I don't think I even want to start delving into how complicated it could potentially be...what an energy sink! :P Though for less happenin' places, like um...the rest of Texas... it could be a little more massive, but networking with local landowners to boost or create CSA's and providing whatever concerned local restaurants and grocery stores with high quality local produce is an excellent first step. As we gain more momentum however, attention to how we operate our agents and goals begin to become an issue of much more concern. Staying in alignment and in tune with each other is getting more challnging wuth the growth of the entity. So, much fun stuff lies ahead.

Wow! I just got sidetracked for a few hours...oops. Turns out that there is some crazy things on youtube...and to think that I used to like namu namu...ah i can't lie, I would still totally rock out to it. Breakdancing is fun too.

Yay reconnection to another one of the Raw Spirit Fest Crew! Yeah! Woooooooo!!! Whenever you guys come down to Texas y'all are gonna have a blast! I've found some great places in the past couple months! I can't get enough Kundalini in nowadays!

There is some big stuff going on right now...but I don't want to disclose too much of it because of the stage we're at right now...no need to count your eggs before they hatch. So...maybe we'll make a documentary about it someday or something. Hey, we know people who do that...cool.

Ok. Enough vagueness for one day. I got to climb in a school bus engine the other day...that was fun, there was a mud dobber nest in the carbeurator...not very conducive to fuel efficiency i'd say but..it's just a personal condition. Then someone else had a blown headlight in their car and we stopped at...*cringe* walmart...because it was late and we didn't want to get pulled over everything thirty minutes....oh...the sacrifices we must make sometimes...so in the same day I got my hands in two entirely opposite vehicles (the car was a Toyota Echo). Yay rudimentary car maintenance knowledge! Woohoo! Those days watching a friend work on my car and passing him tools has payed off a little! But it always has really.

Ok. Not very informative and productive discussion going right now...it'd be fun to talk about a couple of workshops I attended at the Sacred Acre recently about awakening the Light Body and about the 4 agreements from a student of Don Miguel Ruiz. Very cool. That''s an inside joke for some... :)

But I don't want to right now, so if I don't in a couple of weeks, then bug me if your curious. I can't deny requests.